Kids don’t come with a handbook and much of parenting is on the job training. Thankfully for all of you, I have learned a thing or two about being a great parent. As I prepare to become a dad for the 5th time I’ve decided I should share some of my pearls of wisdom with you.

Pay attention as I share this valuable knowledge.  So many parents think they are making good choices for their children but they are in fact making choices that could potentially have deadly consequences. I want to share with you some of the most prevalent mistakes I’ve seen parents make in the hopes that you can avoid them. You’ll probably want to take notes.

Put Your Kid in a Car

So many parents drive their children around in cars. This is just ludicrous. Motor vehicle injuries are the leading cause of death among children.  38% of deaths for children under the age of 14 are from car crashes and then it jumps up to 54% until the age of 25. So not only do kids have no business being in cars, many of the parents driving them around shouldn’t be in the car either. Just order everything online and have it shipped right to your door. There is no need to drive anywhere anymore.

Allow your Kid to go Outside

Did you know there is all kinds of radiation going on out there? It is estimated that our bodies are hit with 15,000 particles of radiation every second.  That’s not the kind of risk you need to be taking with a child. The most effective way to avoid this radiation is to live in a lead bunker and have your child wear lead lined clothing. Honestly, you can’t be too careful in a situation like this. Plus since you can just get everything shipped to your bunker why would you even need to go outside.

Don’t Grow Own Food

We’ve all heard of the evil farmers who are using genetically modified crops to grow our food. This is simply not a viable option for our kids. We must grow our own organic crops in our underground bunkers. This is the only way to know for sure that the food we are giving to our sweet little bundles of joy is safe and healthy. No sacrifice is too great.

Allow Your Children to Breath Air

Recent reports found that as many as 47% of Americans live in areas with unhealthy levels of air pollution or ozone. Gambling with your child’s life that you are in the 53% of healthy air is not smart. You should raise your child in an air tight bubble and pump in pure oxygen. This is honestly the only way.

Don’t Dump Rodent and Roach Dander on Your Kids

So many parents forget to dump rodent and roach dander on their kids before the age of one. Studies have shown that kids exposed to such wonderful things have a much lower risk of asthma, allergies and wheezing. With the benefits so clear and obvious I almost failed to put this on my list but I fear some parents are still not doing this one simple task to help improve their children’s well being.

Allow Child to be Around Family and Acquaintances

Over 75% of all child abductions are committed by family members or acquaintances. And in those rare instances of stranger abductions the child is much less likely to actually be injured. With the statistics so clearly painting a picture, I’m amazed at the number of parents who continue to raise their children themselves. Everyday you try to raise your own child the odds of them getting abducted go up. You should turn them over to complete strangers. For their own safety.

Well there you have it. My quick guide to helping you make better choices for your kids. If I can help at least one new parent navigate the dangerous waters of child rearing then I will have done my job. There is a lot of bad advice out there and I wouldn’t want to see you make a poor decision.

I hope you have a great week. If you enjoyed my tips you can share them with a friend or vote for me as a top dad blogger by clicking the image below. Also if you have any tips for new parents please leave them below.