A Deafening Roar

There are 4 tiny little humans that live in my house with me. They are each capable of making copious amounts of noise and it seems like they constantly are. Sometimes they are just talking too loud, other times they are making bizarre noises with their mouth, and still other times they are banging on stuff.

I don’t understand why but my kids are waging an all out war against silence. It’s not some passive thing where occasionally the volume gets high, it’s an active assault against my sanity. And if for some reason I make the critical mistake of answering or making a phone call, then all pandemonium breaks out. The kids lose what little ability they had to regulate their volume and proceed to run around the house slamming into walls and each other.

I read a recent blogger, Martyn from Inside Martyn’s Thoughts, where he described his kids as constantly making noises all day too and coined it Toddler Tourettes. Not to make light of anyone with tourettes but it does sometimes seem like they are unable to control themselves from making noises. I’m wondering if they just have too much energy and they need to run around and burn more of it off.

I’m also wondering if they make bark collars for kids. Ok, I’m not really wondering that but sometimes I think about it. I think about duct tape a lot too. Maybe just a small piece over their lips….oh, relax, I would never. What I will do, in all honesty, is send them outside to the back yard where I tell them to run around and get out some of their energy. Sometimes they are eager to go, other times they complain like I just gave them 7 hours of homework.

They are so loud I have even told them a few times that they were being too loud outside! They will decide to start screaming and all four will just scream and scream and scream as if they are in mortal danger. They think it’s hilarious. I always just figure they will get tired in 20 seconds. Wrong. 3 minutes will go by and they are all still screaming at the top of their lungs. I’m worried a neighbor will call the police thinking there is a real emergency going on. So then I’ll have to tell them to stop screaming outside. Of course, they always respond with “But Daddy, you said we scream outside, not inside.”

Oh for the love, I just can’t win!

Anyone else battling with a loud household? Any tips to keep the volume at a reasonable level?

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9 thoughts on “A Deafening Roar”

  1. Why stop at four Mike! You need to have another one so you can field a basketball team! My daughter is in a catholic school so many of the other parents have MULTIPLE children like yourself and after going to an activity with a whole tribe I have nothing but mad respect or thinking of sending you all to a shrink. The levels of noise is deafening.

    1. I’m a big fan of basketball, I can be the 5th player! (Although maybe we need a substitute player) or maybe I need 5 more kids so we can play ourselves 5 on 5 full court! Now that sounds like an idea! 🙂

      I could probably use that shrink!

  2. Ahhh crap, I have a feeling we’re just now getting into this phase with Avery, our 19 month old. I’m a little scared after reading this, but at least we only have one….phew!!!

    I’m guessing you already tried just ignoring it and going on about your business as if nothing was happening, right? Might be a bad idea, but you could just join in and scream too. That might confuse them enough and make them think it’s not so fun anymore. Or they’ll love it and get worse…….good luck!!

    1. Ignoring them tends to be the worst thing to do. They somehow take that as an endorsement for their behavior and escalate. I have on occasion joined in which is also seen as a reason to get louder & crazier.

      The two things I found that have the highest success: separating them and giving them each something to do (play with specific toy, do a puzzle etc) and letting them watch TV. They’ll sit in total silence and stare at the TV like little zombies. I use the TV option sparingly when I really need to get something done.

  3. My boys are older and not always as noisy as they used to be although pandemonium always breaks out if I dare to make a phone call. Only thing I found to work was feeding them simultaneously for a few moments of silence. Or silent games, but I have to be involved in them. Best of luck. At only two children I am feeling for you because I can find it noisy here.

    1. Thanks Kirsten, food does seem to slow them down for a moment. But they’re just fueling up for later! Ha. I don’t know what the deal is with phone calls.

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