How I Choked My Daughter While Brushing Her Teeth

Brushing teeth around here is an unpredictable event. Sometimes it’s smooth; the kids hold their mouths open, keep still, spit into the sink and then brush themselves at the end. But then there are other times when it’s the bane of my existence.

There are certain times when, for whatever reason, the kids won’t keep their mouths open. They continuously bite down on the toothbrush, they move their heads all over like some sort of Stevie Wonder impersonator. They spit down onto their shirt and they refuse to try and brush their own teeth at the end.

I haven’t figured out a clever way to force them to open their mouths but I have taken to just holding the top of their heads to keep them still. They don’t particularly like this but tough luck, it helps me to stabilize even if they are holding still.

Last night when I was brushing my daughter’s teeth she was doing pretty well, except she was trying to protest my hand being on her head while I was brushing her teeth. She started yelling and blurted out:

“You’re choking me!”

I stopped what I was doing and gave her the side eye stare. I explained to her that I wasn’t choking her and choking would be if I were squeezing her around her neck. She though about it for a second, looked at me and with the most sass she could muster said:

“Well….You’re choking my head.”

These kids are something else. They can make you laugh one moment and then make you want to slam your head into a wall the next. Here’s hoping for a great week!

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