No, no, no! Just stop it right now. It’s mid August. What is going on? Why am I already seeing Halloween costumes in stores? This nonsense has got to stop. Halloween is more than 70 days away. That’s Seven Zero. My kids will change their minds on who they want to be for Halloween approximately 12 times between now and the evening of October 31st. No way I’m buying their costumes 70 days out.

And Honestly, does anyone do that? I know we’ve all got that one Great Aunt who has everyone’s Christmas presents already wrapped by June but I’ve never heard of anyone doing that for Halloween.  I guess someone must be doing it or stores wouldn’t bother to stock the shelves. I’m pretty sure Halloween has recently become the second largest US holiday in terms of money spent. Second, of course, to Christmas. I have no idea what’s number three. Maybe Valentines.

I guess it’s becoming like Black Friday in that everyone wants a piece of the pie so stores keep moving up their sale times to attract those first customers. Oh speaking of Black Friday, is that an actual holiday? That might be number three. I don’t think it’s an actual holiday. I’m getting sidetracked here.

Speaking of buying a costume, my oldest is probably the only one who will get a new one anyway. I’ll just make everyone else be whatever the sibling above them was last year. Sorry Luki, you’re going to be a fairy princess this year and Ela you’ll be Batman. I’ll try to put a Batgirl spin on it. Think Target will have a Batman and Batgirl costume this year? Will it just be a gender neutral Batperson?

Speaking of Target de-gendering their toy aisles: who cares. Can we talk about real problems, such as, Halloween costumes for sale in mid August. I will admit, after I’ve already ranted about it, I’m not against costumes being available other times of the year outside of Halloween. Have you ever been invited to a random costume party in May? You are basically forced to go to the local costume shop and pay their crazy prices. Or of course you can raid your old Halloween costumes from years past but people start to notice when you’ve been an “Army Guy” for the 6th consecutive time.

While I’m just rambling here I’m going to take a guess at the top “Last Minute Costumes” of all time. In no particular order:

• Military Commando – This is essentially where someone wears a camo T-shirt.
• Ghost – This is the classic sheet over your head and two eye holes.
• Football player – You throw on a football jersey of your favorite team and stuff some sweatpants into your shoulders for pads.
• Farmer – Nothing more than a pair of overalls and boots.
• Police Officer – You pin a plastic star to a blue shirt and grab that pair of handcuffs out of your dresser drawer.
• Egg – You realize your son is going as a chicken so you quickly dress in white and cut out a yellow circle to stick to yourself.

Oh wait maybe that last one was just me.

I better not even get started about how all the female costumes now start with “sexy”… sexy nurse, sexy cop, sexy firefighter, sexy cafeteria lady. It would seem Halloween is just becoming an acceptable time for girls to dress like stripper/hookers.

Well I better get to bed, I’ve rambled off on some crazy tangents and it’s my oldest’s birthday tomorrow so we’ve got to get up early for Birthday Breakfast!

You guys have a great week. Drop me a vote on Top Dad Blogs if you want and I’ll talk with you later. Don’t be shy to leave a comment, even if it’s just to say hello. I love to hear from you guys (and girls).