The Costanza Wallet

I was never big into the TV show Seinfeld. That puts me in the American minority, but I share a trait with one of the show’s characters. George Costanza. He and I have giant wallets. It’s almost guaranteed that if I pull out my wallet in a group of 3 or more people someone will yell “Hey you have a Costanza Wallet!” 

If you don’t know what I’m talking about (or just want to watch Seinfeld) check out this video:

I don’t carry a purse so it’s an easy catch-all for important things I don’t want to lose. Of course it’s gotten so big I can’t carry it in my back pocket without extreme discomfort so I either carry it in my front pocket or in my cargo pockets. Roughly annually, I’ll decided enough is enough and I’ll pull everything out of it and purge it a bit.

My wallet gets so stretched out that it takes a few days for the leather to shrink back and I’ll have cards just falling out because of all the extra room. I decided today was the day I needed to slim down. I took everything out and started sorting into a keep and a get rid of pile. I had receipts that were so old the ink was completely worn off, I literally have no idea what it was a receipt for.

I had several expired membership cards, a few zero-balance gift cards, a ton a receipts, old voter registration and library card from when we moved last year and a handful of expired coupons I never got around to using. All in all I was able to slim down quite a bit. Here is the pile of stuff I was able to get rid of:

I still don’t have the world’s slimmest wallet but as you can see by the after picture, I was able to reduce the thickness by almost half.  I still probably won’t wear this in my back pocket as I have just gotten in the habit of not doing that, but if I wanted to, I don’t think it would require a trip to the chiropractor afterwards.

I’d love to hear how the guys who just have a tiny little money clip do it. I just have too much stuff that belongs in my wallet. Insurance cards, library cards, zoo and museum membership cards, hunting/fishing licence,  AAA card, a few gift cards (Target & Home Depot), BJs Wholesale membership card. I guess I could keep all these cards in my nightstand drawer and just be mindful what I though I would need every time I left the house. But I’m sure inevitably I would forget and leave something I needed at home. It just seems so much easier to keep it all in my wallet.

To steal from CapitalOne. What’s in your wallet? Let me know, am I alone in the giant wallet club? Is it hip to have a clip? How do you roll?

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7 thoughts on “The Costanza Wallet”

  1. I just got divorced and currently in a nasty custody battle, their is nothing left in my wallet :(. All kidding aside I think all guys suffer from this syndrome I know I do.

  2. A Costanza wallet! Hysterical!! I actually work near the real diner where Seinfeld was modeled after so I gotta admit, it’s in my blood:) it was such a great show! But anyway, your wallet conundrum is alot like mine even though I carry a purse too. Too bad it’s not wads of cash clogging my wallet but instead receipts, to-do lists and coupons ! Oh well!!

    1. It would be a whole different story if it were wads of cash! Maybe I could actually use some of those coupons. Better yet I wouldn’t need to carry all those coupons around 🙂

  3. This made me laugh so hard! I had been begging my husband to please clean out his wallet. The main reason..it was SO big that he wouldn’t put it in his pocket and I was so tired of hearing “do you know where my wallet is?” I literally went out and bought him a wallet that can hold a license, 2 cards and a few dollar bills. That’s it. It physically can’t hold anymore. This was like 2 weeks ago. Sooo happy I did that!

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