After a few months of blogging about my adventures as a stay-at-home dad, I’ve had to take a few long looks in the mirror and into my soul and ask myself “is this working out?” The resounding answer is no. It seems people don’t want to read funny stories about a super intelligent, incredibly handsome, and all around humble dad. After doing some long hard google researching about topics to switch my blog to I have finally decided to blog about poli-fascism!
I’m pretty sure that’s the new hipster term for Political Fashion. I’m cool so I’m just going to roll with it, even though I don’t get all the hip lingo. This is a great topic for me because it combines everyone’s favorite topic to talk about, politics, with clothing. I’ve been wearing clothes for more than 30 years so I figure I’m essentially an expert.
My first assignment will be to discuss Election Day Duds. This is one day you certainly don’t want to over-look looking your best. There is a lot of planning and strategy that goes into putting together the perfect election day ensemble. For one, you want to be patriotic so you have to narrow down you choices to red, white or blue. You want to really be carefully not to wear a white shirt, however, because most of the “I Voted” stickers are white and you wouldn’t want some neigh-sayer to not be able to readily tell you voted.
You have now basically narrowed down your choices to red or blue, because you can’t wear a white shirt due to the stickers and you can’t wear white pants because…well because you shouldn’t be wearing white pants ever. You could wear a nice blue top to really make your eyes pop, but then that really limits you on the bottom. You can’t wear your blue jeans with a blue top, you’d look like a smurf. Our politicians are much too respectable to be voted on while dressed like a smurf. So now what? You know you don’t own any red pants so we are now clinging to the idea that a red shirt will work.
You put on your red t-shirt and your blue jeans. This patriotic tribute just might work…for a 4th of July BBQ. C’mon man! You can’t go vote on the leader of the free world looking like you are on the prowl for some babyback ribs. Have some respect!
Honestly this is likely the number one reason that voter turnout is so low. People just can’t find the right combination of clothes. But my readers, don’t lose heart, I have the answer. This election day you wake up and get some coffee, sing a little “My Country Tis of Thee” and stay on the couch in your underwear. Because you will have sent in your mail-in ballot 3 weeks ago!
Join me next time when I explain what to do if you and your opponent show up for a debate wearing the exact same cardigan! Also we’re pregnant with baby number 5. Take care.
April Fools??
This whole post is so ridiculous… ridiculously amazing. Congrats on the big switch man. I always thought poli-fascism suited you better than Dad blogging. I almost suggested the switch a few months ago but there’s really no better time for making changes than the beginning of April. .. because it’s Spring obviously.
April Fools!
I’m so confused… My poor blonde brain just doesn’t know how to react to this post. So either Hahaha you had me going there for a few until it clicked that it’s April Fool’s Day or Oh crap does this mean I have to send the men in white coats with a nifty new type of jacket for you? The last part is referencing a comment thread we had on your Don’t ask a women of she’s pregnant post.
Either way it was really funny once the initial shock from the opening began to wear off. I knew by your response to our “deal” about tricks you were up to something. Lol Or I’m an idiot and you’re for real. Oh man… See what things like this can do to a natural blonde? Haha
Much love and support either way,
Lysa xx
The more important question in all of this is: Why do those guys wear all white? Don’t they know that’s a serious fashion faux pas? And what are they using to accessorize? If your making a bold (possibly misguided choice) to wear all white it is an absolute must to get a few bursts of color with a some choice accessories. But the key is to not over accessorize because that just looks too busy. And for the love I hope they don’t work after Labor Day!
I can see there is a lot of work to be done for this Poli-Fascist-ista blogger! 🙂
After reading that the most important question in my mind now is how and why do you know way more about all of this than I do? LOL Oh, and just so you know white after Labor Day, for some odd reason, applies to everywhere in the world except here in Arizona apparently. You’d definitely have a full time job and then some here as a Poli-Fascist-ista blogger. 😀
Oh and after just reading your sister’s comment below congrats on #5?!?!
Lysa, Lysa, Lysa, not one piece of anything in this blog post is true.
Oh man! You officially got me then! 😉 Now you see why I have a series called My Blonde Problems and that the stories really are true! LOL 😉
I’m so glad this is an april fools! As your sister I was going to be really upset if I was finding out about your big news online. I mean who does that?! Switching blog genres without any kind of heads-up to prepare your readers mentally. You got me good! Ps- congrats on #5:-)
I am seriously confused. I actually like the Daddy blogger
I didn’t think about the people who might read this who don’t live in America and aren’t familiar with our customs on April 1st.
Ha! Brilliant!
I got caught out by my daughter this morning, forgot it was April Fools it’s not going to happen again! (actually thought I came to the wrong website ha-ha)
You had me worried there for a minute! More that you believed that you were “super intelligent, incredibly handsome, and all around humble dad.” Lol
Think you raise a valid point on the white shirt wearing. I think it’s because it makes their tie colour stand out more because if it didn’t no one would have a clue which side they’re on because they all mumble the same stuff but in a different way.
As I happen to be reading this on April 2nd, it took me a second, but hilarious!
I should probably go back and make it more obvious now. Thanks for dropping by and commenting!