After a few months of blogging about my adventures as a stay-at-home dad, I’ve had to take a few long looks in the mirror and into my soul and ask myself “is this working out?” The resounding answer is no. It seems people don’t want to read funny stories about a super intelligent, incredibly handsome, and all around humble dad. After doing some long hard google researching about topics to switch my blog to I have finally decided to blog about poli-fascism!
I’m pretty sure that’s the new hipster term for Political Fashion. I’m cool so I’m just going to roll with it, even though I don’t get all the hip lingo. This is a great topic for me because it combines everyone’s favorite topic to talk about, politics, with clothing. I’ve been wearing clothes for more than 30 years so I figure I’m essentially an expert.
My first assignment will be to discuss Election Day Duds. This is one day you certainly don’t want to over-look looking your best. There is a lot of planning and strategy that goes into putting together the perfect election day ensemble. For one, you want to be patriotic so you have to narrow down you choices to red, white or blue. You want to really be carefully not to wear a white shirt, however, because most of the “I Voted” stickers are white and you wouldn’t want some neigh-sayer to not be able to readily tell you voted.
You have now basically narrowed down your choices to red or blue, because you can’t wear a white shirt due to the stickers and you can’t wear white pants because…well because you shouldn’t be wearing white pants ever. You could wear a nice blue top to really make your eyes pop, but then that really limits you on the bottom. You can’t wear your blue jeans with a blue top, you’d look like a smurf. Our politicians are much too respectable to be voted on while dressed like a smurf. So now what? You know you don’t own any red pants so we are now clinging to the idea that a red shirt will work.
You put on your red t-shirt and your blue jeans. This patriotic tribute just might work…for a 4th of July BBQ. C’mon man! You can’t go vote on the leader of the free world looking like you are on the prowl for some babyback ribs. Have some respect!
Honestly this is likely the number one reason that voter turnout is so low. People just can’t find the right combination of clothes. But my readers, don’t lose heart, I have the answer. This election day you wake up and get some coffee, sing a little “My Country Tis of Thee” and stay on the couch in your underwear. Because you will have sent in your mail-in ballot 3 weeks ago!
Join me next time when I explain what to do if you and your opponent show up for a debate wearing the exact same cardigan! Also we’re pregnant with baby number 5. Take care.