Toddlers are like Drunk Adults

I’m certainly not the first person who has ever made this comparison and I’m sure I won’t be the last. I think I first heard the comparison from my good friend Casey Grice a few years back but I’m sure he wasn’t the first person who ever thought of it either. With his permission I decided to come up with all the ways I could think of that a Toddler and a Drunk Adult were similar.

Neither of them should get behind the wheel of a car and drive.

Neither of them can walk in a straight line.

Neither of them can speak without mispronouncing/slurring words. It’s a lot cuter when the toddler does it though.

They will both just pass out virtually anywhere.

They both over-share info. Particularly about bodily functions.

Neither can keep a secret. It’s in one ear and out the mouth.

Neither has any volume control. They both tend to do a lot of screaming.  

They both need a babysitter to keep them from hurting themselves or breaking things.

They are both likely to take their clothes off at a moments notice for no good reason.

Neither can be trusted with sharp objects.

Neither can be left alone with your phone. The toddler will somehow go 5 pages deep into the settings menu and change something you need to Google in order undo and then drop and crack your phone. The drunk person will post embarrassing statuses on all your social media sites, text all your exes and then drop and crack your phone.

Neither has any respect for personal space. Either one is just as likely to pet your face while you are talking to them.

Either one could pee on themselves (or in a completely inappropriate location) at anytime.

They both like to have a bottle in their hand.

So that’s what I was able to come up with. I’m sure there are other comparisons that exist. Can you think of any that I didn’t mention?

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44 thoughts on “Toddlers are like Drunk Adults”

  1. Hahaha! Those were funny! I agree with Gary as I can’t think of anything else and I was going to say the vomit thing too!

    If anyone vomits around me I usually join them. I’ve had to have my mom come clean up when the girls have hurled many times! So gross just talking about it is making me queasy.

    xx
    Lysa

    1. Seriously, I can’t handle vomit so well myself. Don’t think I’ve ever had to call my mom but I’ve definitely had to get my wife to pitch in. Here’s to hoping for a vomit free week!

      1. Woo-Hoo! I hoping that for you as well! The only reason I had to call my Mom is because I was a single Mom for a really, really long time until I was married last April. That and I only live a few blocks from my parents so she was and is always the closest person to call! LOL

  2. Good stuff! I hope you took the keys from that kid in the picture passed out on your couch. I guess one thing you may have missed is sometimes they are both a little overboard with how cool they think things are and how much they love everything/everybody. “I love you man!!!!”

    1. That’s true they will both profess their live to just about anyone.

      Just the other day in the grocery store two of my kids ran up to some old lady and gave her a hug. I’ve never seen her in my life. Fortunately she thought it was sweet.

  3. I loved your post. Made me laugh the whole way through! Thanks so much for linking up. Would love if you followed me on twitter @susanpajaro

  4. Great post! How about the dancing? My three year old has his own patented dance move –
    1) stand on one leg near to something stable that you can rest your hand on
    2) bend and straighten the weight-bearing leg, thus bobbing up and down
    3) nod your head wildly
    4) invite anyone in the vicinity to behold your badass moves
    5) graciously accept the inevitable compliments from all around you on your dancing prowess
    Job done!
    Alice

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