Size Really Matters in the Bathroom

I know what you’re thinking: “Where is he going with this? I thought this was a family themed blog.” Please just hear me out, I need to get this off my chest. I know a lot of my readers are women and you won’t really be able to relate to what I’m about to say but if you follow along I’ll let you in on a little secret issue that men sometimes have to deal with in the bathroom.

I’m 6’1″ tall, if you put me in an NBA locker room, I’m going to be the shortest guy in the room but compared to the general population I’m typically one of the taller people in any given room. What does this have to do with the bathroom? I’m glad you asked. Every so often I walk into a bathroom and go up to the urinal and it is so high that I either have to stand on my tip toes or take a step back and try to arch my stream up into it.

WHO IS INSTALLING THESE RIDICULOUSLY HIGH URINALS? Honestly, who? I don’t know what guys that are 4 inches shorter than me do. I’m left wondering if the person installing them was a woman and she just didn’t have anything to gauge the proper height or was the person 7 feet tall and they forgot most people are shorter than that?

What guy when installing a urinal lines the bottom of it up with his belly button? It makes no sense. Who are these people? These too-high-urinal-installers? Is it some sick intentional joke? Is the joke on me or the person who has to clean the bathroom at the end of the day?

I’m just going to throw this out there. I have significantly better aim peeing down toward my shins than I do up toward my chest. There really isn’t such a thing as a urinal that’s too low, I can pee all the way to the floor; but there could definitely be one that’s too high. So if you could help me spread the word to all the urinal installers that you know, please don’t be scared to lower those suckers a little when you’re screwing them into the wall. Men and janitors everywhere will thank you.

Is this sort of thing a problem in the lady’s bathroom? Ladies do you ever walk into the stall and the toilet is up on a giant platform?  Are 7 feet tall women installing custom toilets in there too? I don’t get it, I’m so confused. Does the urinal industry not have standard installation heights?  Are bathroom designers throwing caution to the wind and adding a foot to the recommended installation height? What gives?

Ok, potty rant over. Fellas, I’d love to hear from you, I can’t be the only one who has experienced the “too-high-urinal.” Let me know, is this a legit problem or am I just being crazy?

And I know I always ask, but I’ve sort of grown fond of being the #1 ranked dad blogger in the universe and I don’t want to give that up! 🙂 I can’t let sneak up and overtake me.  Actually he’s a great guy who has a court hearing today to try and stop his ex-wife from moving their daughter out of state. I’m sure he’d appreciate any prayers. Thanks for clicking HERE to cast your vote to keep me at #1. Have a great week!

8 thoughts on “Size Really Matters in the Bathroom”

  1. I’ve heard (from another very tall guy) that toilets are also a problem because the flow has so far to go before it hits the water that it splashes everywhere. As to your question to women about toilets, I’ve encountered one or two that were a little high and so when I sat I was on my tiptoes but I’ve never had to jump or anything to get to the seat.

  2. I thought this was going to be about the whole “couldn’t help but catch it out of the corner of my eye while standing at the urinal I promise I was staring straight ahead” thing. Ha! Anyway, I’ve noticed this before too mostly because of the splash factor. Those old school urinals that go all the way to the floor are the best. The further downward the angle of the stream the least amount of splashback. A high urinal or potty are no good…ever. I’m sure you’ve brought your child into the bathroom before. You want them nearby while you pee so they don’t go touching everything and so no one steals them. You have to make them stand right behind you. A 4 year olds face is at the most inconvenient level for the splashback wrath of a high urinal. We dad’s shouldn’t have to be banished to the stall.

    Also, it’s really convenient when you find that rare low urinal when your son has to pee so you don’t have to wait for the stall. Just last week Coop let me know his understanding of the difference between the two when we walked into the bathroom at a Mexican restaurant and asked, “What if there is a bad guy pooping in the urinal? Will he be in big trouble?” Ha.

    Good luck and prayers to the Skippah!!!

  3. Thanks for the shout out Mike! Since I’m now on double secret probation on blogging after court I’ll let you know what happened. Guardian At Litem (court appointed attorney for my child) and she stays put until the GAL has done it’s work. So she started school today in Indiana!

  4. Also I’m about the same size and I’ve noticed in new buildings the urinals are higher! I’m like you aiming down much easier than aiming up!

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